a spark of individulity

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BRZ in drag
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Don’t leave me baby

united steaks of america

Hi baby,

You’re in Vegas right now, and you can’t text, so I figured while I have the time i’d write you a little note since I haven’t done that in quite some time.

I just want you to know that I miss you already, it’s only been 7 hours, and I feel so empty without you. I would do anything to have you by my side right now, laying on your chest cuddling with you taking in your scent. Nothing sounds better than that. I want you to know that I love you Joshua, and I tell you this everyday, at least a 100 times a day, but I just want to constantly remind you how much I love you, and how much you mean to me.

I am so incredibly blessed to have you in my life, and you will never understand how much you have changed my life, and how happy you make me. Before you, everything was a blur. It was one problem after another, and now that I have you in my life, I feel like the richest person in the world because I am lucky enough to have your love.

I will forever cherish the nights we spend texting, talking on the phone, or facetiming until late, talking about complete and total nonsense. And I will forever cherish the nights were we’re sitting on my couch, with my arm tucked behind your back, and my feet intertwined with yours, watching TV. So innocent, yet it means so much. I feel so safe with you, as if I have no problems, and I am completely and totally invincible, you make me feel infinite Joshua, as if I do anything, or be anything. You’re my safe haven. 

I miss you so much, and i’m choking back tears as I type this, because I just got you back, and I just want to spend every single second of every day with you. I will never, ever get tired of you, and I promise you that. I am endlessly, and hopelessly fascinated in you, everything you do is just so perfect, and beyond adorable. Like the way you scrunch up your nose every single time I say good bye to you. Or the cute faces you make when you’re mad or upset, or the face you make every time I say something odd, and just plain weird. I can picture all your cute facial expressions in my head now, they make me so happy. You make me happy. 

I don’t think anyone understands how happy you make me, I don’t quite understand it myself, because I am just so constantly overwhelmed by happiness when I talk to you, or think of you, or am with you, I am just so excited and all my emotions are race cars speeding off in different directions. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. No matter how many times I say it, you will never understand how much I truly do love you.

I know the distance is hard, but I swear to god there is no person on earth that I would rather be in a relationship with than you. The distance does not define my love for you, it only strengths it. I would do anything for you baby, honestly everything. I have put all my trust and faith in you, and you never disappoint me. I know I get scared at times, but I am never worried about you cheating on me, or jeopardizing our relationship because I know that you are as equally thankful, and grateful for it as I am. I know I get scared, and i’m sorry, it’s only because I cant imagine my life without you, and I truly do need you a lot more than you need me.

Well, i should start to wrap this up, but it’s so hard because when it comes to you baby, I could write a whole book, actually, a whole series about you. I love you Joshua, I love your dimples, your cute perky smile, your hugs, your hands, your cheeks, your laugh, your sleepy voice, your  kisses, your sense of humor, your personality.. i love it all. But what I think i love most about you is that I love the look on your eyes when you stare at me.. for the last 10 months that look hasn’t changed since our first date, there is so much love in your eyes, and it makes me so, so happy. I hope that look never changes, and is there for many years to come, because I truly cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you baby… I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my days with anyone but you.

Okay.. i’m done now. Sorry for writing the worlds longest essay, but I just felt that I should tell you this since it’s been awhile..

I love you Joshua John Whiteman, forever and always and ever longer after that<3 

You’re my forever and always baby, and I’m going to love you forever, even when the going gets rough, we’re always going to come out on top. Have a great time in Vegas baby, i’m counting down the seconds until you come home Sunday and I can hug and kiss you again.

I love you so much baby, more than you will ever know. <3

Katie :)

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